Soldier: It’s a harsh reality. Very very harsh. And the closer it gets to you, the more you realize things. Suddenly things that on the news just didn’t make any sense to you, now pass as normal. And here you live it. I saw combatants abuse detainees, for instance, so many times, and it was highly upsetting.

 

Interviewer: Was this common practice or a single event?

 

Soldier: Not common practice. Commanders also knew how to put an end to it. I mean, it’s not something they’d encourage. On the whole people got treated …

 

Interviewer: When you saw this for the first time, what did you say?

 

Soldier: It was very weird for me. Incredibly weird. It stressed me out. I was really scared of this situation.

 

Interviewer: Do you recall a specific situation?

 

Soldier: I remember one morning, one of the first times I came to the commander’s office and saw some five detainees, incredibly scary, and a few soldiers …

 

Interviewer: What was scary, the way they looked?

 

Soldier: No, not the way they looked. The fact that they were actually children, around 14-15 years old. Not older. Blindfolded. And these combatants were not from my own battalion – after all we were a regional brigade, and there were lots of different units – combatants came at those kids, threw stones at them, swore at them. And the kids sat as helpless as a human being can be, their hands shackled in those tight plastic bands that don’t let them move, blindfolded, total helplessness. I often found myself feeling very ambivalent, not sure what I was doing, whose side I was on in this whole thing.

 

Interviewer: Did you say anything to anyone?

 

Soldier: I often made remarks, and some people responded by saying: 'You’re right, this has to be looked into.’ Others said: 'After all they do to us, we have the right to treat them anyway we want.’ Listen, seeing my own guys coming back, later in their service, but still, coming back from an eight-hour shift at Huwwara Checkpoint, when a Palestinian tried to stab one of them, at that point I say, sorry, but screw them. With all due respect. With all my good will.